The beginning of summer..
Summer hasn't started out as I had expected, at all. The past eight days have been very long. In the past eight days, I've gotten out of school, gotten myself grounded, gotten broken up with, & lost five pounds.
Over the past few days, I have never felt so pathetic in my life. Sitting at home, doing whatever, has made me sick. Laying in bed, watching movies? One of my worst decisions. Ever tried looking through movies that didn't have any hint of a love story in them? It's impossible. I have a CLOSET FULL of movies, there's maybe ONE with out any in it.
Last night I cleaned off the table by my bed. Also, not a very good decision. With love notes/letters covered all over it. & some, ones I had started writing to him. A few different journals I had written in. Two pictures in frames. My Birthday letter, & Valentine's Day letter. I stayed up for a while, talking to an old friend.
& this is supposed to be summer? SUMMER? This feels absolutely NOTHING like summer. Being stuck at home with absolutely NOTHING to do? This isn't summer. Summer is supposed to be laying out all day with your best friends, soaking up all the sun you can get, turning straight BLACK. It's supposed to be driving around town with nothing to do but blare your music, & have the windows down. Jumping into pools, fully clothed, just for the hell of it. Eating WAY too much junk food, & laying around watching your favorite movies with your bestfriend.
That summer love, that everyone secretly or openly hopes for every year with the summer air. Walking down the beach, with your arms brushing against each other, not knowing if he wants to hold your hand as badly as you want to hold his. The first kiss when he walks you to your door after an amazing night out..
This. Is. Not. Summer.